wheedles | open post.

[ rich bleeds from the walls.

vie doesn't particularly care for it, the expensive decor and the lavish tastes of the people filling the room. at least it isn't an overly intimate setting, nodding at some of the other people who recognize him as an amber simply from the style of his jacket and the jewelry he wears. at his side, jaejin walks close by; they'd discussed most of the details when getting ready for the party, but now that they're inside, vie really has no interest in following them. he pauses at the refreshments table, engaging in small talk until he has a break for privacy to turn to his date.

he's always handsome, but the finery he's clothed in and the polish of his hair, even the makeup, highlights his beauty far more than he could have ever imagined it. vie offers him a smile, plucking a cup from the table and pressing in close to give it to him. it's not that he expects jaejin to act like any of these people here; the illusion of it is simply far more exciting. ]

Try not to look as if you don't belong. They can sense that. [ his fingertips gently caress the curve of jaejin's cheek. ] Enjoy yourself.

( continued from here )

you make it sound so romantic.

[ truthfully, he's teasing. nothing about this is romantic in the sense he thinks of romance. ]

we would be learning together as we go.
mostly, you just stay with me regardless of where we are.
and you would live here. at least close by in case something happens.

[ jaejin has spent a good two hours getting drunk on the floor of his apartment, movies and dramas chattering away on his television, curtains drawn. he's been raking his brain for ways to either do what sunni told him to or sidestep it completely. it doesn't take alcohol for him to know sunni is right about a lot of things, mostly that he doesn't deserve vie and they're likely working with borrowed time. something in him always shuts down when sunni gets involved.

but he doesn't want to break up with vie, doesn't want to lose him. he knows it's pathetic, being curled up on his floor of all places, letting it eat away at him bit by bit. it's been three days since sunni told him he had a week.

so he does the only thing he can think of and calls vie instead of texting him like he would usually. and, when he picks up there's no greeting or anything, just a quiet and rough: ]

If we ran away, where would we go?

[ he gets the phone call halfway back to his condo, the number unknown and the voice equally strange. if anything, it's a threat. vague, really, but a threat nonetheless, targeted specifically at jaejin rather than him. why? vie can't pinpoint it exactly because he doesn't have the knowledge, can't remember much of their time together besides the numerous amounts of messages and receipts for calls they'd exchanged—including several when he'd been overseas. so, the worry is immediately there when it ends abruptly with a not-so-casual or else.

vie doesn't take kindly to it, instructing his driver to turn around and take him to jaejin's apartment. there's no time to call him, not when they're only a handful of minutes away, and as soon as he steps outside, something feels off to him. that sensation grows the closer he gets to jaejin's place, uneasy when he rounds the corridor and finds the door already ajar. it's fear and something else, something unknown, that has him pushing it open slightly and stepping inside with his fingers curled so tightly into a fist that it almost hurts.

maybe he should have called him after all. ]

Jaejin? [ he calls his name out loud enough to be heard, trying not to hold his breath. ] Are you home?

[ jaejin fucked up.

he knew it before he was crouched near the mouth of the alleyway outside of the club, but it's more apparent every time he tries to take a deep breath. there's a familiar pain in his ribs, but really, his entire body hurts. the only satisfaction he can glean from the entire thing is the fact he has some sort of lead finally, that he knows it was someone related to his old boss that took vie's memories.

maybe it's appropriate that this feels like how things used to be, if only for a moment. he grips at the wall to steady himself when he tugs out his phone so he can unlock it and message the only person he wants to talk to or see right now. with it he sends the address of the club, trying to make himself as small as possible by tucking against the wall just in case. ]

are you awake?
can you come pick me up?

[ it's been a long time since jaejin has been worried over his skills, plagued with thoughts of whether or not he can do what he needs to in order to help vie. it hadn't been as difficult as he thought he might be, identifying the certain feeling that accompanied vie's memories of him — they felt warm, mothwing delicate. they felt like coming home, which is a feeling he knows so well because he think no matter what happens, vie will always be his home.

only after a few hours spent by vie's side as he sleeps, jaejin's taken up residence on their couch, giving vie some space in case he needs to reacclimate once he wakes. he's never done something like this before, has always taken memories instead of haphazardly hiding them or trying to. he's left a glass of water on the nightstand near him, even some asprin to go with it if he needs it.

so now it's just a waiting game. he spends his time on the couch fidgeting and looking at things but never really seeing them, just trying to keep his mind distracted instead of falling prey to overthinking. if nothing else, he knows he didn't do any damage and kept to himself as much as he could. the worst thing that could happen is vie wakes up and still has no access to any of those memories.

at least they'll still be able to be together, even if that happens. ]

[ it's nearing midnight when he shoulders his way into jaejin's apartment.

he should have called. he should have texted.

he should have —

the roar between his ears settles into a dull ache the moment he slips his shoes off and ignores the throb of discomfort across his shoulders. it's like he's finally come back to himself, to the place he inhabits, and there are touches of jaejin everywhere that try to pull him forward. he can smell the flowers on the nearby table and wonders if they would have died if they'd left. if. he can't breathe again, and in a blink, the anxiety crawls into his throat and lives there. then, it's gone again, and he's smoothing his fingers through his hair as he tries to piece together what he wants to say, how he should phrase it.

the truth, at least. it's what jaejin deserves, but it sits so utterly heavy all around him that he almost wants to walk right back out. perhaps sleep would help this situation; he knows, though, that he wouldn't be able to get through another night like this. so, he sighs and casts a glance down at their packed things sitting by the door. jaejin will be waiting for him, and he's afraid, swallowing around whatever's left of his heart sitting in his throat as he finally steps into the openness of the small apartment. he's there, as vie knew he would be. but he doesn't smile at him, unable to really look at him even as he moves to sit next to him. his fingers curl into a fist against his thigh. ]

I'm sorry it's so late. [ and that he didn't contact him. for everything, he wants to say, but he bites down on his tongue. ] I made a mistake.

[ with all of their things unpacked and littered around his apartment, jaejin hasn't been spending much time at home unless he's expecting vie. he's been reconnecting with old contacts in an attempt to get any information he can on sunni's father (chul, he's learned) and the amber house. it's been a series of give and take transactions — information for the promise of a future job, free of charge. he can deal with their offhanded comments about how he's just looking for someone else to leech off of, for someone else to spread his legs for. it doesn't matter, not in the long run.

since the argument he had with vie the other night, not a lot does except figuring out just how to protect him.

the contacts he has a better relationship with give him more tangible information, papers and bits of contracts he shouldn't have. it's the pictures that help, though. he knows he's never seen chul in person, doesn't have any idea what kind of deal he might want with vie, not outside of what sunni said. at the end of the day, he's trying not to let himself tip into thinking the very worst. but it turns out helpful information pertaining to the amber house and its members is hard to get a hand on.

it's later at night when he's at home, waiting for vie. the papers on the coffee table are the few he's bought off another contact and none of them are helpful in the slightest. he knows vie should be back soon, keeps his phone face up on the table in his line of vision just in case. there's no balance between them now, precarious or not. he knows they may as well be in pieces, that something between them snapped that other night. it doesn't matter, though.

if he keeps telling himself that, he thinks he might start to believe it. ]

if you could eat anything for a meal, what would you choose?

[ the drive back to jaejin's apartment is quiet. unnervingly so.

vie tries to think of something to say, but each time he swallows, it's a reminder that chul's hands had been around his throat and squeezing with the intention of really hurting him. he'd rather avoid any thoughts about that right now, though all he can think about is chul trying to scramble for jaejin once the damage had been done, and the blood having soaked into his own shirt is reminder enough of what had actually happened. vie had to think quickly on his feet then; chul's guards wouldn't return for the rest of the night, at the very least, and the one watching the door hadn't batted an eye at their current state as they'd slowly filed out to the car waiting for them.

his driver, as always, doesn't ask, and he curls his fingers tightly in his lap to keep himself from reaching out to take hold of jaejin's hand. he needs some kind of solidity right now, but it will have to wait. they need to pack their things and leave the city. he needs to call sunni, though all he will do, at most, is send him a text before turning his phone off completely. time away sounds too good to be true, and yet, that's all vie's thoughts circle around as they get out of the car and reach jaejin's place. his keys shake just a little as he unlocks the door, and once they're closed off from the world, vie's focus narrows. ]

Pack what you think you will need for a few days. We can come back for the rest later.

[ just essentials, he thinks, and he's holding his breath the entire time, making a beeline for the bedroom even as he begins to unbutton his shirt so he can change. ]

[ it's been a few days since jaejin's birthday, something they celebrated on a more mellow scale than originally planned. maybe, in a way, that was a good thing considering. with both of them still recovering, vie physically and jaejin trying to work through things internally, celebrating more than that might have been a poor idea. still, he'd wanted it to be a good thing, to make sure vie knew he appreciated the efforts made, and the card had meant more than anything else.

and that card has been the focus of most of jaejin's thoughts.

he wants to hold onto the memory of how easy it was to feel lighter around vie, of how easy it was for them to love each other and show it. things feel so heavy now, even the smallest of touches feel like they cost or risk something. jaejin has had some time to think about the night he killed sunni's father, about how everything after may as well have been just a blur of something he can't even name. it still doesn't feel good, but then, he supposes maybe murder shouldn't. even if it was a solution to the problem. even if vie is free now.

as he's done since they arrived, jaejin leaves the place they're stayed in the middle of the sun rising to fetch fresh cut flowers and breakfast for vie, breathing in the sharpness of the morning air. instead of setting the table when he comes back this time, he's careful to set up vie's breakfast on the wooden cutting board in the kitchenette so he can bring it to him in bed. sitting on the side he was sleeping on before, he's careful to set it on the nightstand before he reaches over to gently touch vie's shoulder. ]

I brought you breakfast, if you're feeling up to it.

[ quiet, just in case he isn't. if vie wants to sleep more, he can put it in the small refrigerator for later instead. ]

[ his walk around the block hadn't exactly ended the way he'd wanted it to.

halfway to the park, he'd decided to call sunni and discuss their options, so to speak, and vie had ended it shortly after informing him that he didn't want to make too many decisions without informing jaejin first. of course he wouldn't do that, not when he's still trying to navigate how to do that in the first place. it leaves him with a lot more to think about than he'd actually like, and when he notices the time, he realizes he's been gone for almost an hour, wandering aimlessly around the small city center before turning to navigate his way back to the villa he's sharing with jaejin.

on the way, he's too caught in his own thoughts to really consider a different explanation as to why he'd taken so long on a walk that should have only lasted ten minutes, but vie is certain to buy some flowers from the shop close by to buffer any future conversations. he hardly remembers the name of them, though they're pretty and white and are supposed to represent something. commitment? he hadn't been paying attention, checking his phone far too often and only polite enough to slip away with them. now, at the door, he frowns to himself and tries to shake it off before entering, leaving his shoes in the entryway and searching the rooms for jaejin without bothering to remove his jacket. his smile, as always, is soft when he sees him. ]

I brought you something.

[ which is punctuated with the small bouquet like a shield, hoping to ease some of the tension that still lingers between them before creating even more. ]

[ after two days of complete radio silence— ]

so why do you stick around?

are you free tonight?
i haven't heard from you much today, but i thought we could get dinner.

for unmake.

unmake. ( tfln )

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject