[ it's nearing midnight when he shoulders his way into jaejin's apartment.
he should have called. he should have texted.
he should have —
the roar between his ears settles into a dull ache the moment he slips his shoes off and ignores the throb of discomfort across his shoulders. it's like he's finally come back to himself, to the place he inhabits, and there are touches of jaejin everywhere that try to pull him forward. he can smell the flowers on the nearby table and wonders if they would have died if they'd left. if. he can't breathe again, and in a blink, the anxiety crawls into his throat and lives there. then, it's gone again, and he's smoothing his fingers through his hair as he tries to piece together what he wants to say, how he should phrase it.
the truth, at least. it's what jaejin deserves, but it sits so utterly heavy all around him that he almost wants to walk right back out. perhaps sleep would help this situation; he knows, though, that he wouldn't be able to get through another night like this. so, he sighs and casts a glance down at their packed things sitting by the door. jaejin will be waiting for him, and he's afraid, swallowing around whatever's left of his heart sitting in his throat as he finally steps into the openness of the small apartment. he's there, as vie knew he would be. but he doesn't smile at him, unable to really look at him even as he moves to sit next to him. his fingers curl into a fist against his thigh. ]
I'm sorry it's so late. [ and that he didn't contact him. for everything, he wants to say, but he bites down on his tongue. ] I made a mistake.
no subject
he should have called. he should have texted.
he should have —
the roar between his ears settles into a dull ache the moment he slips his shoes off and ignores the throb of discomfort across his shoulders. it's like he's finally come back to himself, to the place he inhabits, and there are touches of jaejin everywhere that try to pull him forward. he can smell the flowers on the nearby table and wonders if they would have died if they'd left. if. he can't breathe again, and in a blink, the anxiety crawls into his throat and lives there. then, it's gone again, and he's smoothing his fingers through his hair as he tries to piece together what he wants to say, how he should phrase it.
the truth, at least. it's what jaejin deserves, but it sits so utterly heavy all around him that he almost wants to walk right back out. perhaps sleep would help this situation; he knows, though, that he wouldn't be able to get through another night like this. so, he sighs and casts a glance down at their packed things sitting by the door. jaejin will be waiting for him, and he's afraid, swallowing around whatever's left of his heart sitting in his throat as he finally steps into the openness of the small apartment. he's there, as vie knew he would be. but he doesn't smile at him, unable to really look at him even as he moves to sit next to him. his fingers curl into a fist against his thigh. ]
I'm sorry it's so late. [ and that he didn't contact him. for everything, he wants to say, but he bites down on his tongue. ] I made a mistake.