[ it's more difficult than jaejin thought it might be, letting vie rein him in, but he still looks at him when he requests it and listens. vie is beautiful in a lot of ways, one of them being his fierce need to protect the things and people he cares about. it still hurts, vie having to tell him something he thinks he should know, but somehow doesn't.
jaejin has never doubted the fact vie loves him or just how much he does, he knows all of that in his heart. he knows it as well as he does the lines on his own palm or the birds that nest in the tree outside of his apartment. he only knows from experience that sometimes love isn't enough. but when he lets out a breath, focusing on the warmth of vie's hands on his shoulders, he still knows he needed to hear that regardless.
it all seems so slippery now, but he wants to believe they can get through this together.
reaching for vie, he brushes his fingers against the rise of his cheek, gently moving the wisps of his hair from his face. ]
I want you to be free of all of this and I want this to be over too. [ it feels as if he's only stating the obvious and he sighs again, quiet for just a beat. ] I'm sorry I misunderstood and didn't try to talk with you about it again. I should have. Instead, I threw myself into trying to fix it by myself and didn't even gain any ground.
[ it's a teasing touch, but vie lets his eyes fall shut nonetheless, focusing on the fading heat of jaejin's fingertips and the cadence of his voice. they're the only familiar things to him right now, wanting to hold onto them so he doesn't get lost in the what-ifs of it all. how incredibly easy it would be to give it up to chul and the unyielding power of the amber house, but he's come too far to let it break him. he needs to be strong for jaejin too, peering at him as one of his hands slips to his chest to feel his heartbeat.
he can never get enough of this, but there's still so much he has to prove. ]
It just means we have to work on it, [ vie murmurs quietly, alarmed by how quickly emotion wells up in his throat. how close had he come to losing him? how close is he still? ] You can always talk to me about anything. I would never think less of you for it or ignore you. [ and with that comes a quiet sigh. ] We can do this.
[ it's all vie has left to believe in, and he repeats it quietly, his fingers curling slightly in the fabric of jaejin's shirt. ]
I'm not going to him again. I can arrange things the way you want them, but the only person's hands I ever want to feel on me are yours. [ then, reasoning: ] I should talk to Sunni, though. It might be good to have him on our side.
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jaejin has never doubted the fact vie loves him or just how much he does, he knows all of that in his heart. he knows it as well as he does the lines on his own palm or the birds that nest in the tree outside of his apartment. he only knows from experience that sometimes love isn't enough. but when he lets out a breath, focusing on the warmth of vie's hands on his shoulders, he still knows he needed to hear that regardless.
it all seems so slippery now, but he wants to believe they can get through this together.
reaching for vie, he brushes his fingers against the rise of his cheek, gently moving the wisps of his hair from his face. ]
I want you to be free of all of this and I want this to be over too. [ it feels as if he's only stating the obvious and he sighs again, quiet for just a beat. ] I'm sorry I misunderstood and didn't try to talk with you about it again. I should have. Instead, I threw myself into trying to fix it by myself and didn't even gain any ground.
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he can never get enough of this, but there's still so much he has to prove. ]
It just means we have to work on it, [ vie murmurs quietly, alarmed by how quickly emotion wells up in his throat. how close had he come to losing him? how close is he still? ] You can always talk to me about anything. I would never think less of you for it or ignore you. [ and with that comes a quiet sigh. ] We can do this.
[ it's all vie has left to believe in, and he repeats it quietly, his fingers curling slightly in the fabric of jaejin's shirt. ]
I'm not going to him again. I can arrange things the way you want them, but the only person's hands I ever want to feel on me are yours. [ then, reasoning: ] I should talk to Sunni, though. It might be good to have him on our side.