[ it's like an unspoken ultimatum: jaejin or yves.
has it always been, he wonders. in the beginning, it had been nothing else except trying to help yves, to prove he could be more than someone who took and left while never giving anything back. but slowly, jaejin had filled in those gaps. he'd been vie's waking hours and his dreams, the only thing he'd ever really wanted for himself. he still does, and maybe that's why it bothers him, the sting in his eyes prominent as he blinks once before looking away.
jaejin hits him right where he's vulnerable too, mercilessly. should he have never remembered at all? could they have remained strangers, a wall of indifference separating them and the memories he hadn't had before. the sleepless nights, the love confessions, the urgency and fondness every time they kissed. he'd wanted to leave for him, but every time, jaejin had convinced him to stay. now, he can barely breathe with the thought that everything's unraveling and it had been his fault for being so careless. ]
You're saying that as if I knew this was going to happen. [ he bites it out, loud and defensive and pained. ] I have never wanted any part of this. This life or this family. Nothing about it was worth it until I met you.
[ vie pauses then, to swallow and press his fingertips just beneath his eyes like it will keep the tears from falling. his voice is quiet when he speaks. ]
I didn't choose him. [ it's almost as if he's convincing himself more than jaejin. ] If it had been you, I would have done the same thing – no hesitation. But maybe it doesn't make any difference. I don't know what a good decision is, so you should choose for me.
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has it always been, he wonders. in the beginning, it had been nothing else except trying to help yves, to prove he could be more than someone who took and left while never giving anything back. but slowly, jaejin had filled in those gaps. he'd been vie's waking hours and his dreams, the only thing he'd ever really wanted for himself. he still does, and maybe that's why it bothers him, the sting in his eyes prominent as he blinks once before looking away.
jaejin hits him right where he's vulnerable too, mercilessly. should he have never remembered at all? could they have remained strangers, a wall of indifference separating them and the memories he hadn't had before. the sleepless nights, the love confessions, the urgency and fondness every time they kissed. he'd wanted to leave for him, but every time, jaejin had convinced him to stay. now, he can barely breathe with the thought that everything's unraveling and it had been his fault for being so careless. ]
You're saying that as if I knew this was going to happen. [ he bites it out, loud and defensive and pained. ] I have never wanted any part of this. This life or this family. Nothing about it was worth it until I met you.
[ vie pauses then, to swallow and press his fingertips just beneath his eyes like it will keep the tears from falling. his voice is quiet when he speaks. ]
I didn't choose him. [ it's almost as if he's convincing himself more than jaejin. ] If it had been you, I would have done the same thing – no hesitation. But maybe it doesn't make any difference. I don't know what a good decision is, so you should choose for me.